BIENIE HACK 1

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I just realised something.
I never abused my password privileges to randomly write you a journal, like you did twice.
I think it's time to change that.

In case you reading this didn't realise, once again this is not Griwi, it's Vuurstern again :la:
My girlfriend is at school right now, so. Perfect timing. :icongrinstareplz:

But why today? You just randomly thought of it? No.
About one year ago, me and Griwi were nothing but very good friends. We had always been able to talk about everything that was on our minds, and during August 2013, we talked a lot. I had troubles talking to others, but to her? It went easy. And she kept me company through my lonely days. We found out we only lived two hours away from each other, and that her brother had a Belgian girlfriend who could perhaps take her along to Belgium sometime? We were imagining meeting up, because that would be cool!
One year ago, on August 29, I drew a picture of our fursonas Bienie (with no tail there whoo) and Griwi, who was called Sora back then.
Tell me what you know about dreams by Vuurstern
It was the start of something that was nothing but an art war at first but it slowly changed into something else.
Just dreaming again by Griwi Blushed by Griwi Looks good on you by Vuurstern This song saved my life by Griwi Shall we tell them where the rocks we step on are? by Vuurstern Love is a Battlefield by Griwi
As the art war went on the pictures became more... meaningful. And that wasn't just on purpose. It was because we two actually grew closer to one another. However I didn't realise it at first. Mind you, back then I wasn't single. Sadly, thanks to distance and timezones as well as other reasons, it was often difficult for me to reach my significant other when I needed her. Instead, Griwi was there to talk to me. She was actually the first to tell me about her feelings, or actually, her doubts of what she was feeling for me, one night on Skype when I was home late. It went like this:
That's how it all begun by Griwi
(I'm really enjoying illustrating this with our art, in case you didn't notice. Anyway! On with the story.)
And well, I didn't know what to do there, because it's not like I hadn't noticed any sort of feeling towards her, but I'm not a person to break hearts and at this point I really did not know what was better. I decided to shut up about my feelings and just see how things went. Well, we kept talking daily and we were growing closer at some point. I guess I actually thought she got over her unsure feelings for me, until she brought it up again. She said that she found it hard, the fact that she still wasn't sure. I was debating inside my head at that point. Tell? Don't tell? If I said something I could no longer go on as if nothing happened. Then I would eventually have to do something and explicitly hurt someone. But we always told each other everything.

"I'm not sure either."

Her reply was something calm like "Ah well, we'll see when we meet eh?" but behind the surface, that one sentence changed a lot. And then of course, I had to do something. I'm not the type to just leave one person because I have feelings for another, then I would just go on and ignore it. However, that wasn't the only problem in our relationship, there were more things that made me think it'd be better to go on as friends rather than lovers. And because of those reasons, as well as the fact that it wouldn't be fair for either of them if I continued it, my first serious relationship ended there. It was my decision, but it wasn't the nicest part of course, I hate hurting people who are dear to me. But I'm mentioning it anyway because if I wrote that everything was roses and sunshine for everyone, I'd be lying and I hate to lie. That was a somewhat awkward time with friendships that fell apart there, but by now things have changed a lot for the better, luckily.
Either way, she left for Hungary on a student exchange  Don't forget me! by Vuurstern Happily ever after by Griwi and even though before we were already being adorable to each other, that's when we  REALLY started to write like lovers. If you read our conversations back then, we were like a couple already. There was just one thing: We hadn't met in real life yet. And it was her decision not to be together until we met, because of her past relationships with online dating. It took us a while to find a day we could meet.
Stay by Vuurstern Only one meaning by Griwi True friends are hard to find by Vuurstern
Then, on October 18, she got to know that she could go to Köln on the 26th with her brother's girlfriend, and that Köln was easily reachable by train from Brussels, and thus I could meet her there if I wanted. I told my parents the next morning, and they were being all "oh wow well okaaay"
In the evening, my mom told me I couldn't go that far on my own for "just a friend".
I cried and tried to convince them, which happened after I mumbled "it's not just a friend" a few times and wrote down which trains I'd take exactly. In the end, she let me go. It's funny, she had no idea about my orientation back then, but she said she would only start thinking about it after she and my father brought me to the trainstation and she was all "I find this suspicious, that she wants to meet that girl this bad". By then I was on my way to Köln - I just realised the city's name in English is Cologne. My bad. Anyway. Griwi had some train problems on her way there and I was all nervous, thinking I had come here for nothing and was stuck here for hours, but luckily, one train was at least there. Over an hour too late, but she arrived in the end - and the rest is history. :meow:
Don't wake me up by Vuurstern Northern Lights by Griwi

I ACTUALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO WRITE DOWN A STORY HERE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN I WANT TO WRITE HER STUFF.
But anyway. The past ten months, or the past year actually, was by far the most eventful period out of my whole life so far. A lot of things happened to us, good and bad. Do I regret any of it? No. It was all worth it.
I'm glad we made the decisions that led us here to be like this. Because after all, even with the hard moments, we're still together and I don't want that to change. Generally, I don't think I've been happier. It's nice not to be down all the time because you have your heart broken over crushes that aren't worth it. It's nice to have someone to say good morning and goodnight to. It's nice to have someone to think of as you fall asleep or wake up. When you feel lonely. Because you are not alone.
Distance sucks, but we can make that. It's worth it, especially those moments when we are together and can sleep together and just. Everything. I love just spending time with her, no matter what we do. And that's what counts.
I'm just really glad to have this girl here in my life, and I will try not to ever make that change.

I love you :heart:
Bienie
© 2014 - 2024 Griwi
Comments10
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my-little-infinity's avatar
*is totally late*

You guys are a) precious and b) an inspiration for people out there who are in love but face obstacles: be it long distance, or your parents not accepting who you are. Seriously. So precious. :P :heart: